When your life is about helping teenage lads, is it a betrayal of comradship to have with them?

Yes I think it's a betrayal. There are gay and straight men who seek out vulnerable youngsters to "help" them but their real motivation is to have with them. I remember reading a news story about a pedophile who opened an orphanage in Thailand. It would be nice if every young person had someone they could rely on, someone who didn't want to use them. Abused kids are sometimes highly ualised and they particularly appreciate it when an adult resists the temptation to have with them. They probably respect that a lot and value that adult.